Witnessing loss can be traumatic but you can move through it. In business there are so many ways to lose. It’s not what happens, rather what happens next that matters. Recently a protégé experienced a profound loss. I watched her at a gathering of friends and family, navigate the complexities of dealing with the reality of it and trying to make sense of it all.

Uncovering the Hidden Message of You Matter

Maya Angelo said, “If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.” With my friend, I could see how much those around her cared for her. I wondered what she will make of all this when the most critical moments have passed. Did she know how much she mattered?

Discovering the Power of Self-Reflection

On the drive home, I began to think about my own life’s experiences and realized that I haven’t always taken the time to pause, but I know how much self-reflection helps. Before I tell you more about the benefits of self-reflection, I want to tell you about a short story.

In 2006, while golfing, (actually, I was sitting waiting for my partner to tee-off) I was hit by a line drive in the head. I was rushed to the hospital, received stitches over my right eyebrow and told that I had a concussion. Thankfully, from 2006 until 2022, I experienced no side effects from this incident.

But recently, I started to have symptoms that were baffling. I visited my doctor, then a neurologist who gave me a diagnosis and a cure, and I have been on my merry way since then. However, adjusting to these symptoms and the treatment has been much more than I realized. Truth, is I have struggled a bit. Sometimes I forget to breath until I can catch myself. Then I remember I have a plan and I’m ok.

Struggle Vs. Reflection

From the Journal Reflections: Narratives of Professional Helping, The Struggle Bus: Using Critical Self-Reflection for Psychological Introspection and Self-Care, (Shaw, Carter, Tolbert-Banks 2022, Vol 28, Issue3), the authors share that introspective work is challenging, rewarding, and, at best, revealing. They go on to say that all humans need help. When a title like business owner, boss, mentor, coach, or father are attached to an individual, it can strip the individual of believing they can reach out for help.

In my own experience, hiding my feelings has been my badge of honor. This ability to compartmentalize has often served me well to get the work done, but in the end, I have struggled to ask for help until it’s too late and then I’m face down in the ground or in the fetal position, rocking, quietly repeating, “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.”

The point is self-reflection is hard but very helpful. If done with consistency and correctly, it can help to unlock our true selves. It helped my friend and it’s helping me. Here are some things you can do when faced with a tough challenge.

Understand Your Worries

Ask yourself at what moment did you feel most distanced from what was happening? What part of this experience is puzzling or confusing? By asking these questions, you should be able to identify what is happening and then you can think about why you feel this way.

Understand Your Strengths

Ask yourself at what moment did you feel most engaged? What about this experience is most surprising in a good way. Helping you to reframe your thinking allows you to think more objectively about what is happening.

Reduce Stress and Anxiety

Determine the behaviors or actions you can predict and control. Then take small steps to complete those actions. Remind yourself that asking for help is healthy and there are people who care and want to help.

Foster Self-Awareness

Keep an open mind. Be mindful of your strengths and weaknesses. Consider how your actions affect others. You may have to set some boundaries, so embrace your tuition. If it feels like you need to give yourself time, do so.

Reap the Benefits of Taking a Step Back

Lack of reflection could be prolonging your struggle or hurt. Business owners and employers are experiencing a variety of challenges because of not pausing to reflect. Once you apply some of the helpful tips in this article, you’ll begin to shift your focus from struggle to reflection. You can reframe your stressors to an adventure, and keep on, keeping on.

Know that there are resources and people to help. You need someone who can help you answer important questions, who has the experience and resources to take your overall objectives and create a space that can support your purpose, priorities, brand, and vision. If you are an owner or manager planning or thinking about updating your work environment, call or email me for a free consultation. We can help you breathe easier. Jacqui Sabo is the founder of AIR and can be reached at jacqui@airinaz.com.